4:14

"...Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this"--Esther 4:14

It is easy to believe that we're missing out, that we made some choice in the past that set us off track and God is somewhere in the distance trying to call us back.  But in reality, if we stop and listen, we are often right where He wants us to be.  I remind myself this when I've had too much coffee, forgone washing my laundry in favor of spending time with friends, or put off an assignment until the very last minute.  I remind myself that God's grace is my treasure, and covers me when I feel most unworthy.  That my own misgivings, frustrations, and insecurities are not enough to stop His plan from unfolding in my life.  That He has set friends, professors, even perfect strangers in my path to cheer me on when I feel bored, unmotivated, ill-equipped, or darn right stupid.  God has a funny way of bringing the best to the forefront when we've held our lives out to Him with open hands.  So, I had a re-evaluation recently.  I thought I'd switch my major to English, but now I've changed my mind.  It's OK.  I'm not bipolar or confused.  Things are tested and shaken in this life, and often those things we think are easily moved are the most ingrained. 

I got into my car today in a fit of emotions.  Part of me wanted to bag it all, forget the impending papers and projects I have due, and take a run on a country road overlooking the vineyard-filled valleys, or race the sun on the river in a kayak.  I turned the key to the car and the clock came on.  That digital time teller which I've neglected to turn back an hour.  There, in bright green lights, flashed the numbers 4:14.  I sighed.  Without another thought, I set about my next endeavors and let the pint up energy float out of me on the waves of a rock song coming over the radio.  I am here, at George Fox, going to school for a reason.

4:14 is a set of numbers I see all the time.  They are like a spiritual flagship to remind me I'm on the right course.  When choosing to leave behind my friends, family, job, apartment, and favorite cat in my little seaside home in Alaska, it comforted me to know the university I was heading to was situated on 414 N. Meridian St. in Newberg, OR.  Even this school is destined for greatness, and carrying out its purpose in God's Kingdom.

Soon after arriving at the store today, I saw a friend in the craft section.  She asked me about pre-physical therapy.

"Well, it's funny you should ask," I said.  "I almost switched it last week, but then I thought about how hard I've worked, how much I left behind, and how long I've believed this is the right track for me...and I'm going to finish.  I'm going to get my Allied Health degree."

She nodded with approval in her eyes. 

After coming home, I turned on my computer to set about my next assignment.  And there on the top of the screen was the time--the correct time--, reminding me once again that even when my life seems disheveled and haphazard, this really is where I am supposed to be.

4:14