The End

I woke up this morning at 6a.m. and thanked my lucky stars for the good fortune of finding half a cup of coffee left in the pot.  I poured it steadily into a mug, and shut the microwave door just a little too hard.  Sitting on the couch, with two nights of very little sleep, I cracked the pages of my neuroscience book.  After the first drink of caffeine, I marveled at how alert my mind feels on five hours of sleep and day old coffee.  Today I had two finals back to back.  Neuroscience at ten a.m. and Physics at one.

I've got to eat.  It's not good to take tests which require such cognitive abilities without having fuel.  I took a shower, threw on some disheveled clothes, and dragged myself to the den to buy some breakfast and go over old tests.

I had very little anxiety.  This time last year, I felt like a completely different person.  I literally lost ten pounds during the finals week my first semester at Fox.  The tests for Gen. Bio and Gen Chem seemed like the most daunting tasks I'd yet faced in my life.  But three semesters in, I feel I can take what comes with more stride.

The neuroscience test went fabulously.  I felt like I aced it.  By the time I was sitting in my physics class this afternoon, I was giddy from caffeine and sleep deprivation, and excited that after this test I was home free.  No more school for three weeks.  For five minutes, I had been sitting sideways in my desk, telling my friend Alison all the things I've never done because I  grew up in Alaska.  "I've never been to a Target."  I said.  She was shocked.  "I drove on a freeway for the first time last year, and went to my first concert this semester."  The list went on.  As the professor began to announce the beginning of the test, I dutifully spun in my chair to show I was prepared. To my surprise, the bottom right corner was not bolted and jolted backwards, giving me the feeling that I was falling through space.  "Oh shit!" I stammered in reaction.  After regaining balance, I realized the professor had pretended not to notice.  Here we are at a Christian university and I'm yelling profanities.  I began to laugh.  My friends close by couldn't hide their giggles.
"Did you embarrass yourself?" The professor said in a humorous tone.
"Yeah," I answered.  "That's code for, 'boy I can't wait to take this test!" Everybody laughed, and he gave me mine first.
 The physics test was a marathon of mathematical equations and conversions.  I could feel the glycogen stores in my neurons unraveling to feed the monster of linear thought.  Every muscle in my back tensed up and my neck began to ache.  I have run a marathon before, and that's exactly what this was like.  One painful problem after another.  But I wasn't worried.

It's either the grace of God blanketing my life, or I am successfully living in denial. Whichever, I feel great.

And, I have reached it.  Now I can go home for Christmas and lounge on the couch.  It's the end.